My Week – End of my cycling?

My Sunday Ramblings It is another psychiatrist couch session today. I need it!

As most of you know I love cycling. It is the only physical activity I get. By the time I get to the office, after my morning ride, I am on a high and ready to work!

My cycling world came crashing down yesterday. I was hit by a car from the rear. I was thrown off my bike and ended lying on the road. My worst fear realised.

A women driver came out of her car with two men and asked me if I was okay. The woman straight away started blaming me. I could see, like me, she was in a state of shock.

While lying on the road totally shocked my first thought – hell am I all okay? The next thought was I am just sorting myself out to enjoy my life. Now this!

I forced myself to stand up to prove to myself that there no major harm and I was fully functional.

I got up, picked up my bike and said to the driver I was okay. I was limping, but I was not in any major pain at the time.

I did not want to see the driver, the car or her passengers. I just wanted to get away. At the same time I was so grateful that I was not in any major pain, and I could walk.

I did not even look at the car and take the car registration number. I do not know the make and the model of the car. I wanted to get away and not face up to what had happened. I kept blaming myself for what had happened. I even said to the car driver it was my fault. How can it be? I was hit from the rear!

At the same time, within myself, I was grateful to the driver since I could have been in a far worse state. It was a hard knock. The good thing is the bike took most of the knock and not me.

I was on my way to check on my mother at the time of the accident. After the accident, I walked, limping, and reached my mother’s place. I did not mention anything to her. I thought best not to. We had our evening meal together. I did my best to be normal.

It was an hour or so after the accident that my brain was no longer in fight or flight mode. It picked the pain on my leg. I realised my leg was bruised, and it was bleeding. Also, some of my fingers were in pain.

What worried me was whether I had any serious injuries. At the same time, I was determined to prove to myself I was okay.

I said to myself I will walk home, well as far as I can with my damaged bike. I started walking slowly and limping. It was cold. I kept thinking that was such lucky escape. I was just a few seconds away from being under the front wheels of the car.

I got home my limping leg and my fingers in my left hand were in pain. I was pleased that I managed to walk all the way.

For the past few weeks, I noticed drivers on the road have got worse. They drive too close to my bike. Some even speed up to avoid red lights, putting me in danger.

The accident has shaken me. I cannot see myself cycling now. My area has got worse for cyclists.

I need some physical activity. Once the pain in my right leg eases, I will start walking to work. Possibly taking the bus back home.

I have booked a GP appointment tomorrow so that she can confirm that there are no major injuries.

I am not in a mood to discuss work.

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