I am not on any pick me up drugs. I am at my worst on beauty stakes. In terms of my weight, it is the heaviest I have ever been. I could be earning substantially more money, but I am not. I have resigned myself to a single life.
Despite all the above, over the past 6-8 days, I have been so happy. I do not know why. What is happening to me? Is it ageing? Is it because of some chemical changes in my brain? Are they?
My flat is a mess. I want my home back! I am still happy. There are a few other issues going on, guess what, I am still happy.
Why? I am thinking is it because I have accepted me the way I am? There was no conscious decision on my part..
On the rare occasion, I look at myself in the mirror; I have ballooned! All of a sudden, I do not mind this. It does not mean; I will not try and lose some excess weight.
Maybe it is because I am beginning to live my life the way I wanted for years, but did not have the time. I feel so settled now.
How long will my happiness last? I am a pessimist. The last few days I have been happy. I hope it lasts. I want it to. You have no idea; I did not think, I would ever say I am happy for a few continuous days.
Is this a positive side of ageing or some on sought of some terminal illness? Don’t care. If it is a terminal, at least I will depart being happy!